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My life with someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

New research on depression, emotions, and narcissism provides useful insights.

In proportion, narcissism is healthy, bolstering secure attachment with positive self-image, adaptive responses to embarrassment, a sense of pride and gratitude toward oneself for self-efficacy, and a balanced interest in one’s appearance, accomplishments, and social standing. 

In excess, narcissism becomes pathological, creating a situation where it isn’t possible to get along with others. Extreme needs to be liked and admired coupled with an inability to see one’s flaws clearly, either denying or exaggerating them (or both), makes it difficult to own it and move forward constructively. Rather than accepting shame as a normal, even useful emotion (e.g. for social learning), shame becomes warped, proof of one's utter reprehensibility to a near-delusional extent.

Narcissism and Depression

As reported by researchers Kealy, Laverdière and Pincus (2020), pathological narcissism increases the risk of depression. How this happens is not known. It has been hypothesized that difficulty dealing with emotions may be at the root of the problem.

Narcissism has two related but distinct dimensions: grandiose and vulnerable. Grandiose narcissism covers the arrogant personality often referred to by crass epithets, characterized by an inflated ego, the tendency to exploit others, and a sense of being genuinely superior. Such grandiosity appears to be innate and authentic.

Vulnerable narcissism, on the other hand, often arises out of childhood adversity, trauma, and neglect, evoking empathy and caregiving from others—for a time. Vulnerable narcissists understand the idea of empathy but expect it from others without seeing the give-and-take, leading to victimhood and disappointment. Those around them often end up feeling burned-out, bitter, and finally just done.

The authors discuss different theories connecting narcissism and depression. Narcissistic individuals may not effectively process feelings about themselves personally and regarding social situations. Negative feelings get stuck, building up over time.

Wanting to hide their flaws, they maintain a front with others while inside growing more distant and depressed. Depressive states interfere with feeling in control and throw off behavior in social and work settings, further driving the cycle.

What's Going On?

Given the lack of research looking at links among narcissism, emotions, and depression, Kealy and colleagues designed a preliminary study of 99 outpatients being treated at publicly funded mental health clinics in Vancouver, Canada. They recruited a “convenience sample” of patients in the order they started treatment, good for a pilot study but less robust than follow-up studies would be. The participants were 70 percent White females, around 36 years old on average.

Measures included: the Pathological Narcissism Inventory, covering grandiosity and vulnerability; the Emotional Processing Scale, looking at five factors of 1) emotional suppression, 2) unprocessed feelings, 3) poorly regulated emotions, 4) avoidance of feelings, and 5) reduced (“impoverished”) emotions; and the Patient Health Questionnaire, which assesses core depression symptoms, including an additional question about negative impact on social functioning. 


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/202002/why-are-narcissistic-people-prone-depression

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'Salem's Lot
'Salem's Lot
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The Tommyknockers
The Tommyknockers
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Firestarter
Firestarter
by Stephen King
The Waste Lands
The Waste Lands
by Stephen King
Cujo
Cujo
by Stephen King

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